This Is What Happens When You Don’t Check Your E-mail For A Year!
September 22, 2011
Last Saturday, I had to pick my parents up from a party because they were too drunk to drive. As I was driving them home, my mother, who was in the back seat, rolled onto the floor of the car, blubbering like a child. I pulled the car over, turned around in my seat and scolded her, demanding that she put her seatbelt on immediately or I would not drive her home. I have been waiting 17 years to do that in a serious manor. Chuckling on the inside I thought to myself OMG IM THE ADULT.
-Stephanie
The other day, I started working at a summer camp. That night, I went out with a few of the kids in my neighborhood, Somewhere in between being bitten by mosquitoes and hearing them complain about how life isn’t what they wanted, I realized that I’ve got so much more to talk about, and those trivial things don’t really entertain me anymore. A few minutes before they decided to get smashed, I realized OMGI’MTHEADULT.
-Noelle
As a 17 year old recent high school graduate, I was leading a group of middle schoolers on a community service road trip to St. Louis. At one point of the tour of few of the kids started feeling homesick and came to me crying. I was able to calm them down and convince them to go back to bed. OMG IM THE 17 YR OLD ADULT.
-Evan F.
I arrived at my door after class to find a large box from my father. I love packages so I hurried to open it. Upon unwrapping the large box I found a brand new state of the art vacuum cleaner. I was so excited, it was like Christmas for my allergies. omgimtheadult
-P
I live in a house with 7 other college students, but I am the youngest being only 18. One day a older lady knocked on our door and I answered. She looked at me and said, “is there an adult around that I could talk to about some paperwork?” I automatically turned around to call for someone and then realized wait OMGIMTHEADULT.
-M
As a black-velvet-clad, long haired romanti-goth going to high school in rural North Carolina, I obviously got my fair share of funny looks and abusive comments. Now that I’m 25 and living in the same area again, I like to hope I’ll make some poor high school kid’s day by walking into the local grocery store in my big black boots and my leather jacket (gone is my ren-fair wardrobe and ass-length hair). I know I was always excited to see someone unique, amid all the camouflage hunting jackets and ball-caps with chewing tobacco logos.
Running in for the other day, I passed a group of kids that looked a lot like the people I hung around when I was their age, inhabiting that intersection between “goth” and “skater.” Giving them a smile and a nod, and walked by. Unfortunantly, to them I must have looked like just another asshole.
“Boo!” the last one yelled, making a false start at me. The rest broke out laughing as they left the store, despite the kid’s complete failure to startle me.
“What the hell!” I told my wife later. “Are teenagers really that stupid that failing to frighten some guy is funny? I mean, were we that dumb at their age?”
After repeating the story a few times to various friends, it struck me. My hope of sending positive, supporting energy to alienated teens had, in one instant, mutated into complaining about “kids today.” I might as well break out the rocking chair and smear on the Tiger Balm.
–Chris Lowrance
I went to a Haunted House last Halloween that was run by the local magnet high school’s theater department. I am absolutely petrified of haunted houses so imagine my surprise when two teenage girls I didn’t even know started clinging to me like I was going to protect them. They were burying their heads in my back and holding my hand and said I was a very nice lady. OMG IM THE ADULT.
–Elaina Stanley
So I’m 23 and I just bought a TV for my parents today. It was a nice flatscreen that cost 500 bucks. This local store was closing and it was cheap, and since they asked for one last year for Christmas which my sis and I forgot to buy on Black Friday, I figured I might as well buy it now. It was only when a friend of mine pointed out that I just dropped half a grand on my parents, that I realized, OMGIMTHEADULT.
–Rochelle Murray
I’m an emergency room nurse and just lectured a 15 year old on the importance of condom use and STD prevention….omg, I’m the adult here
-Rachel Kronke
I’m weeks into being 18 years old, major car accident lands me in the hospital with a broken neck. Two days later a nurse crotchet walks in my room and says to me “you’re too old to have your mom here 24/7”. I look at her and for the first time think, OMGIMTHEADULT.
-Tiffany Vargas
When I first started working with people with disabilities I was just seventeen years old and not very grown up in my head I would say.This was nine years ago and I still not really think of me as an adult.But in my job I have to be the adult.I have to be the role model to people which are 30 years older then me.The thought is kind of weird to put some adolescent teenager into a role where he is the measure of social interaction and manners and values to people which are physically so much more adult then he is. Let me tell you some of my OMGIMTHEADULT experiences.
Manners are something I have to practically show and explain to the people I work with and a reoccurring practical joke for some people can be to fart as loud as possible at mealtimes. This actually always cracks me up but I have to be the person who says please don´t. This works more or less. It can be quite tough when you are out in a restaurant.But it can be unbelievable refreshing and fun . I think by now I´m quite addicted to this kind of `social meltdown`. Just imagine how fun it is to go to the theater or the ballet. I think this is one of the things which keep me from becoming the adult on the inside.
I also work with lots of young volunteers which come and stay with us for a year to work and gain experience in english and in working in a social setting.These volunteers come usually straight from school and often from loving and caring parents which cared a bit too much for them. I
don´t blame them but I quite often scratch my head when i realize that this 20 year old has never cooked a meal or washed his clothes himself. And yes, its usually the boys 🙂 last week I discovered that a 27 year old coworker of me is unable to change a lightbulb – no joke – really happened.
-Nils Vonau
My girlfriend and I were on our way to a Santa themed pub crawl when and had just parked the car when some 8 year old kid came up to us crying and said “those teenagers are messing with me and my brothers” when I looked up about 5 16 or 17 year old guys walk over our way and start explaining themselves to us, claiming the kid and his brothers were throwing snow balls at them. We (my girlfriend and I) told them to grow up and leave the poor kids alone and they did and left the parking garage. When did I become old enough for 17 year olds to think I am an authority figure? I’m 23 and OMGIMTHEADULT.
-Jon Browning
I was checking out at the grocery store alone and quietly complained to myself that my wife had the harris teeter rewards card in her purse
– doug dicksey
I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, which for me was going involve a day of dressing up and having fun. At the wedding rehearsal the minister asked who she would have to sign the register, and the bride asked me to do it. I was halfway through saying, ” shouldn’t a grown-up do that?” when I realised OMG I’M AN ADULT.
-Danielle Hewitt
At 25, I woke up one morning and thought, “Oh man, I should really water my bonzai plant.” Then I thought, “Oh my god, I’m that really lame adult that I always scoffed at.”
-Craig Donofrio
I was 24 and had been promoted to assistant manager at a diner. I was talking to one of the waitresses (very hot) and we were chatting about liking the music playing. I said that I really liked the band. She said, “Oh, yeah? My dad really likes them too!” AGGGGHHHH!! I’m the adault!
-Phillip Declet
I’m 20 years old, and I’m currently finishing up a degree in English. I plan to take the LSAT and go to law school. I get up at 7:30 AM every day to go to class. Meanwhile, my three housemates (all of whom are older than I) are spending their college days playing videogames and beer pong until about 3 AM every night. OMGIMTHEADULT
-Scott Lysander
A few months ago I organized an art exhibition. One day a school class came over, it was some kind of mini-field trip. They wrote short essays about the exhibition and read some out loud as I was standing next to their teacher. I am 22 and was like OMGIMTHEADULT.
-Joscha Bruckert
I was 18 when I was in my room playing Grand Theft Auto 3. My parents walked in, slump-shouldered and crying. They looked at me and said, “We lost the house.” Apparently, my parents had failed to budget their finances, and the bank had foreclosed on them. They knelt at my feet, sullen and weeping as I sat on the edge of my bed. I calmly put my controller down, held their faces in my hands and said, “Then we have to start packing. Crying won’t get us anywhere. We need to pack up our shit, find a new place to live, and get moving.” Oh, My God, I’m the adult.
-D.
The family gathered in the loungeroom, excitedly unwrapping our gifts. My mother got Nintendo DS accessories and little electronic gadgets. My stepfather got Bundy Rum paraphenalia. My nieces got DVDs and toys. They all got at least a half dozen presents each, half of them from me. I got two pairs of shorts… And I was happy. OMG, I’m the adult here!
-The Shampyon
-Nikki McRae
I was 19, sitting on the edge of my bed, peering into the bassinet where my newborn son was sleeping. I realized in an instant that I was responsible for his well being, for his life, and I thought OMG I’m the Adult. He will be 44 the end of February 2010.
– Lani Roberts
I was visiting family at Christmas and was the only other person home besides the family’s 12-year-old daughter. She came up to me and asked permission to go to her friend’s house. OMGIMTHEADULTHERE.
-Rachel Hendery
I used to work in Matalan, a discount clothing chain and once on the shop floor i was puttng some stock out when i overheard “… go and ask that man over there” i quickly looked around to see what man they were talking about… and it was me OMGIMTHEADULT
-Mark Rushworth
My wife and I are at the retro-arcade for our biweekly Dance Dance Revolution competition, surrounded by people playing video games we were feeding quarters into well before they were born. As in the late ’70s. Waiting for more change, my wife mutters, “I bet we’re the oldest people in this place. I feel so old.” The woman in front of us overhears and turns and says, “I know! I’m thirty!”
So were we, years ago. OMGWERETHEADULTS.
-Julian Smith
I was filling out an expected-costs form at work for a business trip I had to take – my first one solo. It suddenly struck me that I was going to tell my boss “Yeah, I’m going to be spending a couple grand on this thing” and he was just going to sign off on that, and I was going to go and toss thousands of dollars in food and plane tickets and a hotel onto the company card.
Ah, crap, now I’m an adult.
– Ben Novak
Tonight (Christmas Eve) my husband(!!) and I are taking my folks and siblings out to dinner. Then everyone is gathering at my house for presents and dessert. On top of this, I’ve invited friends over for all this merriment. I’m hosting the holidays this year. I’m the one responsible for all the festivities. OMG IM THE ADULT.
Hey! We got onto to Metafilter!
I have several memories and this constantly comes up for me as I’ve slowly realized I’ve actually become an adult.
– When I was about 19 I grabbed a basketball and was shooting at the local park on a Saturday and a 12 year old kid came up and asked if he could shoot too, calling me sir, and then asked me how college was. That blew my mind.
– When I was 25, fresh out of college with my first real job and my older brother called to say he was so broke he couldn’t afford his daily required medication, and I paid for two months of the stuff. I get one or two calls like that a year from him and I’m happy to help out (the first time was the point I realized I became the Older Brother in the relationship).
– This, posted an hour ago, seriously. I’ve never had to put much effort into hiding presents before but this required planning. I bought it early, left it at the bike shop, had to come home and make sure my daughter was distracted, then cover it up and stash it in the corner of the garage, all the kinds of things my parents used to do because my brother and I would rifle through every inch of our house looking for presents in the month lead-up to xmas.
-Mathowie
Click the link for more OMG I’M THE ADULT stories.
At 25, my Friday nights have begun to wind down from all-night partying to late dinners at a quiet restaurant, catching up on Grey’s Anatomy episodes, and quite frequently, passing out on the couch, exhausted and fully-clothed. One Friday, after a late night dinner, I lingered in my car for a few minutes looking for something to play on my iPod. Suddenly I saw this car backing up behind me–fast and a little too close for comfort. And then at that split second I knew it was going to happen; this crazy ass driver was going to hit my car. And of course it did. I stepped out of my Hyundai, annoyed but calm. The car stops in the middle of the parking lot and a teenage girl comes running up to me. “Oh my god, oh my god, i’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” she says. How could you not see me, I wasn’t moving? We examine my bumper together, desperately trying to erase scratches with our bare hands. “Are you going to call the cops?” she asked me. “Are you drunk?” I asked her. “No, I’m not! I just came from a 3-hour classical concert and it totally messed with my head.” OMGIMTHEADULTHERE.
-Kris Alcantara
Six Word Memoir.
Sign on the dotted line.
I became my Mother’s legal guardian.
-Joe Molinari
I was in my early twenties, working at an Alzheimer/Dementia unit during my undergraduate years. I always worked until 11pm. The nurse worked until 5pm, leaving around 20 residents in the hands of three unqualified, college-aged kids. It was close to 11pm when I heard shouting down the hall, which was not uncommon, but I ran down there–also realizing the other two were outside on a cigarette break. Walking in the room, I was greeted with a woman on the floor splattered in blood (from a fall, we later realized) and four other residents standing around her, concerned. I looked at them for a possible explanation when one pointed at me and said, “Why would you hurt this woman?” convincing the others that I was to blame. As I tried to console the woman on the floor, the others started pushing me away. It was me against four adults, all in their late sixties. I quickly realized, OMGIMTHEADULT.
-Nicole Lane
~Liz Gusta